I sent the following to my U.S. senator as well as my U.S. House of Representative, what do you think?

It's a great letter. But to be honest, they will only read letters, emails, short, direct, and to the point. Also, they have no way to know WHO you voted for. However, they do know IF you vote. If you didn't vote in the last general election, it's likely the letter, email, phone call will be disregarded.